Facebook Wish List

Since Facebook is intent on creating the perfect experience for me, there are two things I'd like to see.

One is a filter on status updates that block certain topics. In my case, there are three topics I don't want to hear about: 1.) the details of a friend's cold, particularly regularly updated details of friend's cold symptoms and secretions, 2.) how a friend feels about the performance of friend's favorite sports team last night/this afternoon, and 3.) how friend feels about local weather.

There is nothing wrong with these topics or the people who post them. I don't know why these topics make me crazy; they are arbitrary complaints against the barrage of trivial minutia posted on Facebook, trivial minutia I love. I am thrilled to know a friend is on the 22 bus. It comforts me to know my friends are moving about the city doing their lives. And whether my friend's sandwich has too many/not enough/just the right amount of onions I also think is a noble use of Facebook. I understand onions.

But a filter that blocks updates on certain subjects would be mean next time I see friend I won't be thinking about the phlegm filling friend's lungs.

The second thing is a way to block notification of posts after my posts on a case by case basis. Usually I want to see the other posts b/c I am interested in whatever subject was updated, else I wouldn't have commented on it. Occasionally though there is that post that garners LOLs, ROTFLs, IMHOs, me toos, funnys, etc. for seemingly weeks on end, and wouldn't it be nice to click "Stop notifications on comments on this thread" directly from one's email inbox.

Hello. Hello. Hi.

The office I'm gigging at has to be the hello-iest office building in Chicago. Plunked in the South Loop with stunning views of the Chicago River and skyline, it houses maybe 80 businesses and EVERYbody in the building says hello. Doesn't matter if you work for the same business, on the same floor, if you know the person, everyone says hello. I feel like I am back in Richmond, Virginia where everybody said hello. For all of the hello-ing, there is zero small talk. When I took the stairs down, every time I hit a landing, I'd round a passel of people waiting for the sluggish elevator and we'd be all hello, hi, hello, hello, hi hello, as I weaved by but when I'd throw out "I got tired of waiting for the elevator": nothing. No response. Nada. Once, on one floor, a guy said, "You too."