King is King

A woman beat the crap out of me today. After making me strip naked, she tied netting across my face. She stepped on my hands. She slapped me, pulled my muscles from my bones, and peeled off the top layer of my skin. Then she tried to up-sell me a $19 body oil treatment.

All this took place at King Spa and Sauna in Niles, Illinois, and it cost 90 bucks. In addition to their often unpleasant yet somehow satisfying body scrub/massage, this place has hot pools, cold pools, restaurant, salt room "made of 350 million year old natural salt base rocks", amethyst room (interior walls entirely covered in amethysts), oxygen room, and ice room—all with heated floors to lie on. Photo gallery here. I ate a tasty plate of pan-fried dumplings at the restaurant and fell asleep on a faux leather lounger in front of a television. All the relaxation rooms have televisions because—how else could one relax?

 Salt room.

But the business next door had the most important stuff—food. Super H Mart is a Korean mall including grocery store and food court. Still hungry, I ordered fried rice from Wang's that looked like nothing special but was indescribably delicious.

 The fried rice of which I speak.

The grocery store proper carried a large selection of produce, seafood, and kim chee.

 If I can't buy kim chee made fresh in front of me, I don't want it at all.

 If you can't find kim chee here, that's on  you.

 Because folks can not live on one condiment alone, please sample these others.

Say Cheese

Yesterday, because I was not wearing my glasses, I bought a hunk of camembert at the grocery store thinking it was brie. I didn't realize this until lunchtime today. Luckily, I've always lived by the motto: When life gives you camembert, eat it.

Plus who can forget the line in Wallace and Gromit where Wallace takes a bit of the moon and says "Hmm? Camembert?"

But what is camembert, and what is the difference between brie and camembert? Wikipedia says they're each from a different part of France, plus camembert has less fat. Yum! All the flavor, with less flat. It may be time to try Wensleydale.