Please, No

It's funny to notice whilst researching prospective agents/publishing opportunities the specific subjects they are not seeking. I particularly like the ones that add "please," like they are at their wits' end.

• Please do not send stories about cats that live outdoors. 
• No stories about September 11th, the Y2K bug, or tsunamis.
• No stories about "good" children always making the "right" decision.
• No stories about dishwashing, divorce, or drivers' ed.
• No stories about vaginas or penises afflicted with bizarre allergies please.
• NO STORIES ABOUT BATMANS ORIGIN.
• NO STORIES about how "I loved my dad and I'm sad he's dead."
• Please...no stories about your grandmother's tomato sauce.
• No stories about Abe Lincoln please.
• The magazine does not care to read any more stories written from the point of view of a fetus. 
• No stories about grandma's funeral.
• No stories about vampires or werewolves either.

And it's amazing they still have to say this:

• We do not accept manuscripts that are handwritten.
• We do not accept articles that do not deliver on the article title.
• We do not accept queries by telephone.
• We do not accept articles from article generator software.

Aquaniesha Fox

I had the pleasure of working with Daaimah Mubashshir on the poster for her new show Aquaniesha Fox Does The Hanky Panky, 10pm next Wednesday, November 17th at The Playground, 3209 N. Halsted, Chicago. See outtakes and other photos from the shoot at my Behance portfolio.