Why God Made Swimming Pools

In the creepiest "things found on google whilst googling other things" ever, we are introduced the wolf fish, which, despite its nightmarish looks, is supposed to be as cuddly as a kitten—or at least not "particularly" dangerous. It's also being overfished, according to an internet source, though this seems improbable unless people are using ponies as bait. Click the link to see the rest of its insanely frightening body, if you dare.

Oh, and it's descended from a 50 million year old ancestral line, in case you couldn't tell.

An Open Letter

Dear Children Who Come Over To Play With Our Kids:

1. Your most valued contribution to playing at our house is that you occupy our children for a short while, giving us valuable solitary time with which to play the Google guitar and check out what's happening on LinkedIn.

2. You are here to play with our children, not with us.

3. Therefore, we don't want to see your Beyonce dance.

4. We don't want to hear you sing "Fireworks."

5. We don't want to play Barbie or dress up with you.

6. Unless you are here over a meal time, please don't tell us you're hungry.

7. Do not take this personally. We are 40 years older than you, and our interests are not the same.

8. Now please go play. In the other room.