Monday, June 9, 2008

CAWS Newsletter #1

Welcome to the Chicago Area Wildlife Society, an egalitarian society made up of people doing nothing in particular. Membership in the society is free. There are no dues, there is no board of directors, we hold no meetings, elections or tribunals. We kick no one out; we let no one in. You are a member if you say you are. You need not qualify yourself, though ownership of Society apparel confers a certain amount of legitimacy to membership claims. Otherwise, we do not care whether you love or hate wildlife or if even you are urban. Some of our members communicate with animals (see accompanying article), others chase them with sticks. We do not judge.

We like t-shirts and we like them soft and we like them cotton. We like our cottony softness made in the US by adults. Therefore we choose American Apparel garments whenever possible.

Conversations with Squirrel Whisperers
People who speak to squirrels and rodents tend to be reclusive, but in this rare interview, society members Randy and Jane (real name withheld) share their secrets.
_ _ _ _ _
Q: Randy, I want to ask you a few questions about talking to squirrels.
Randy: You don’t talk to squirrels, you communicate with them.
Q: Butofcourse. And how does one communicate with squirrels?
Randy: Squirrels make two sounds: one like a cockatiel or a parakeet squawking and one that’s a clicking. I might click at a squirrel and if the squirrel clicks back like it’s chuckling, it’s happy. I never use the
squawk noise; that’s a fighting sound. That would be like barking at a dog.
Q: Can you make the happy sound for us?
Randy: Tsk tsk.
Q: Jane, what sound do you make to communicate with squirrels?
Jane: I don’t actually communicate with animals like Randy does. I just noticed that when I make a certain sound, they’ll come over to me.
Q: What sound is that?
Jane: Ffff ffff (high-pitched noise).
Q: What happens when you make that sound?
Jane: It gets their attention. I think it sounds like the cry of their young. One day I did it in a pet store and all the rodents in the store came out of their burrowing places and banged against their glass cages.
Q: Such power could corrupt.
Jane: Yes! I think the noise might mean something bad because it freaks them out.
Q: Randy, how did you start communicating with squirrels?
Randy: I watched them on the lawn of the state capitol (of Wisconsin) and noticed that they do a lot of communicating by twitching their tails, posturing and barking. I started to move my arm to imitate
their tail movements and imitating their sounds and I found I could communicate with them for hours. They’ll continue engaging as long you keep them at ease.
Q:Any advice for aspiring squirrel whisperers?
Jane: Just don’t use my real name for this interview.
Q: OK, but that’s not technically advice.
Jane: I think you should get that from Randy since he actually communicates with squirrels.
Q: Randy?
Randy: Don’t make a squirrel a promise you can’t keep. They’re sensitive beasts.
Jane: I completely agree.

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