Wait, Weight, Wait

Warning: This post will bore you unless you are obsessed with coffee and weight loss.

There was a time (about ten years ago) I lost 15 pounds simply by replacing the heavy cream I drank in my coffee with half and half. At the time, I consumed four cups of coffee a day—36 grams of saturated fat in the heavy cream alone. A healthy diet consists of 20 grams of saturated fat a DAY. I was consuming twice the recommended fat for the day before I had eaten a single bite.

Half and half contains 1 gram of saturated fat per tablespoon, dropping my coffee fat intake from 36 to 12 grams (216 calories) a day. Not an exceptionally healthy start to the day, still I managed to lose 15 pounds in six months doing little else (I also added yoga and cut back on buttered popcorn).

Ten years and one baby later that fifteen pounds is back. 15 pounds is 52,500 calories. To lose 15 pounds in a year requires dumping 143 calories a day from one's diet. It's time to drop another ingredient.

I've now switched from half and half in my coffee to 2% milk. Good bye, 15 lbs! The numbers this time, however, are not as encouraging.

2% milk has .1875 grams saturated per tablespoon, bringing my coffee down to 2.25 grams of saturated fat! Woot, sound great! I am cutting out about 10 grams of saturated fat (90 calories) a day. I should lose the 15 pounds in 18 months. Not 6 months.

To make matters worse, I drink 1.5 cups of coffee these days, not four. Even compensating for adding more milk than half and half to each cup, my coffee-based saturated fat intake will only drop from 6 grams to 1.4 grams, or 46 calories a day. My 15 pounds will disappear in three years.

I can't wait until 2011—I am going to look so hot.