Monday, May 25, 2009

Lentil Blerghers

It's one thing to tell yourself you need to lose 15 pounds, it's another when your extra-attractive doctor tells you losing 9 pounds would be a "nice goal" for you.

Because I have a principle against undertaking any goal I can't maintain, I started with the commonsensical approach to my nice goal: 3 homecooked meals a day, only low cal snacking like pretzels and fruit in between. Add 15 minutes of cardio 3 days a week. That should be worth a pound a month, or my nice goal attained by Christmas.

Four weeks of the commonsense approach and . . . I gained 1 pound.

Time to get real and count fat and calories. How many calories are in a pound again? 2,400?
3,500? Really?

And how many calories should I eat a day? That's the 2,400, right?
1,900? Are you sure?

How many calories do I actually eat? (Keeps tally for two days). 2,200! Yikes! There's the creep! thought 25 lbs. was a nice goal for me, but screw them. They also thought I should eat 1600 calories a day—only an 800 calorie/day drop. I met them in the middle and said 15 lb. weight loss, 1700 calories a day for six months.

Wow, do cheeseburgers have a lot of fat. And salami. And mozzeralla. And buttered popcorn. Luckily I am a decent cook so I whipped my first batch of lentil burgers, how hard can that be. Lentil burgers are healthy. And not very tasty, as it turned out. But hey, with a teeny bit of cheese and an avocado/yellow tomato relish (also known as guacamole), asian cabbage salad on the side, they will be healthy and delicious, yes? I mean, look at that health:

Even with that dollop of sour cream, healthy, yes. Delicious, not. They lack something . . . what is the word? Oh yes—flavor. Luckily, there is one condiment that makes everything tasty: giardianera. Take a look at this healthy yumminess:

It actually was yummy, the first time.

The second time, a few days later—bleh. I just need to eat smaller cheeseburgers. Anyway it has been 2 weeks of 1700 calories a day or less. Will let you know what the scale at the gym says.

To be continued...

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