Oh Google

I am none too happy about the new way Google autofills my search field not with my most recent searches, but with the world's. Or maybe it is U.S. searches. Google doesn't say. Or English speaking searches. Or all searches everywhere, translated to English. I don't know, but it bugs me. I do a lot of research and I'm somewhat compulsive hence I search the same things a lot and I want my searches. Not only am I not getting my searches, I am learning more about my fellow humans than I care to.

I was searching the title of a magazine article I'd recently published, to see if had become an internet sensation yet and I got as far as typing "is o" when these options presented themselves:


Is Obama the antichrist? For real? A half million results? My internet is slower than rush hour on the Dan Ryan because you're researching whether Obama is the antichrist? OK fine. Internet for all. Freedom of speech. Freedom of search. Whatever. My search is narcissist and delusional so who am I to judge? Lots of questions about Obama, I noticed. Then I remembered Sarah Palin's gotten more hits in the past two weeks than Britney and Paris combined so I wondered what the world was asking about her and typed "is s" thinking I'd get a bijillion questions on her. Instead I got this:


Is Sean Hayes gay? Please. Does tinsel sparkle? What's the obsession with who is gay? Nothing on Sarah P. yet. Here we go with "is sar" (yes I know we skipped "is sa" but I forgot to get the screen shot and I am too lazy to go get it):


Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Again, what is the obsession? Onto "is sara":


Now we're becoming more curious. We want to know if they are gay and Jewish.


Jewish, gay, married, getting a divorce? We want to know! Here is "is sarah p":



Finally! There she is. I know a lot of misinformation has been flying around the tubes, but I didn't think her pro-lifosity was in question.

Now we know the burning questions on things that begin with "S". Can I have my old autofill back?