Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Please, No

It's funny to notice whilst researching prospective agents/publishing opportunities the specific subjects they are not seeking. I particularly like the ones that add "please," like they are at their wits' end.
  • Please do not send stories about cats that live outdoors. 
  • No stories about September 11th, the Y2K bug, or tsunamis.
  • No stories about "good" children always making the "right" decision.
  • No stories about dishwashing, divorce, or drivers' ed.
  • No stories about vaginas or penises afflicted with bizarre allergies please.
  • NO STORIES about how "I loved my dad and I'm sad he's dead."
  • stories about your grandmother's tomato sauce.
  • No stories about Abe Lincoln please.
  • The magazine does not care to read any more stories written from the point of view of a fetus. 
  • No stories about grandma's funeral.
  • No stories about vampires or werewolves either.
And it's amazing they still have to say this:
  • We do not accept manuscripts that are handwritten.
  • We do not accept articles that do not deliver on the article title.
  • We do not accept queries by telephone.
  • We do not accept articles from article generator software.

1 comment:

  1. Seems to me they'd be better off telling us what they DO want to see instead of what they don't!